Hi! I am DD... well my name is Dazholi, but I don't want to spend the first 15 min of every session pronouncing and spelling my name - so I just go by DD. I am an MFTC in Grand Junction, Colorado. What is an MFTC? it stands for marriage and family therapy candidate - which basically means I am trained in relational therapy, and I am in process of becoming licensed. I hope to be licensed before 2024 comes to a close.
If I am a relationship therapist, why would I treat individuals? Good question! Have you ever heard nature vs nurture arguments to mental health diagnoses or behavioral issues? Well, relational work focuses primarily on the nurture side of this argument. Most of our brains are wired before we even begin first grade. This is why our home environments are so important between the ages of birth and 7 years old. This is when our whole nervous system is adapting to what our perceived level of safety is.
So as we go throughout our lives, knowing the impacts of how others treated us during that time can really make a difference in how we live. Our nervous system continues to respond to the world as if we are a young child, but we can learn to do otherwise. Additionally, relational therapy is about systems that impact us. I love working with marginalized, oppressed, and diverse communities because they are perfect examples of why environment impacts outcomes. It is my goal to show each of my clients on microscopic levels (going inward) and telescopic levels (going outward) to understand how their environment has shaped and continues to shape their wellness.
I study multiple forms of therapy because I see value in a lot of them. There are a few themes that emerge, however, no matter the practice:
Creating a mind-body connection: our nervous system is the tether between our physical and mental worlds. We must become familiar with all three. Our bodies are designed to sense danger. So when something in our present mirrors the past when things felt unsafe, our body is often the first to know. Getting familiar with this will allow you interrupt emotional reactions to situations, and instead make decisions.
Inner child or woundedness work: almost all models of therapy ask you to figure out times you were affected by how someone else treated you. We are all a bit like puzzle pieces. Our interactions with other humans is what shapes how that piece looks. We then go out into the world trying to figure out where our puzzle piece can fit. Well, if our piece was formed in unhealthy spaces, it will attract unhealthy spaces. Inner child work, or woundedness work, allows you to re-shape yourself to be able to function better in healthier spaces.
Self-awareness and accountability: What if you are the problem? It's ok, we all are sometimes. Therapy can help you see yourself better in a way that you feel neither judged nor shamed. Becoming self aware is truly about understanding more about who you want to be, and less about who you should be. But to get there, you have to first understand what your own value system is. You need to understand what you expect of others, and see if you can operate under those rules. If you wouldn't let someone treat you how you treat others - you've got some work to do. And that's ok. Good for you for caring enough to try!
No matter what we end up working on together - I want each of my clients to leave having a greater ability to trust themselves. I want them to leave with coping strategies that allow them to navigate more of their mental health on their own. Therapy is wonderful, and you can treat yourself to it for as long as suits your needs, however, I take pride in being mindful of providing you with effective care so you won't need therapy forever. I believe in short and effective treatments. You should feel like your therapy is working for you, if it doesn't feel that way - trust yourself. Find another therapist, or take break and reassess.
This article was written by Dazholi "DD" Love, MFTC. DD has been practicing relational therapy for three years. This article is based on observations made throughout experiences with various types of relationships and dynamic patterns that frequently occur. If you are seeking relational therapy in the Grand Junction, Western Slope and Mesa County areas, you may contact DD by clicking this link here.
DD Love, MFTC
640 Grand Ave,
Grand Junction, CO 81507
(970) 852-0687
Available Monday - Wednesday from 8am-7pm, Fridays from 8am-12pm (in-person and online)
*Offers LGBTQ+ affirming relational therapy, youth counseling, and divorcing and separating well counseling.
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